# The Third Story — Debrief

> You did not agree on the truth. You put two observable scenes on the wall and found the one need both are protecting — and that is where a real disagreement can finally move.
> Use with `the-third-story-guide.md`. The need-and-move close at minute 25 is the compressed version; this sheet is the full one.

## How to run this debrief

- Keep both third stories **up on the wall** while you talk — you are debriefing the divergence between two scenes, not re-arguing who is right.
- Point at the exact sentence where the two accounts split; "it's all different" is the first-person habit creeping back.
- Land on the dated move — owner and deadline — or you have named a mood, not taken a step.

## Read the wall

1. **What both third stories describe the same way.** The part a camera would capture identically is the ground you're standing on — say it out loud and count it.
2. **Where, precisely, they diverge.** Not "everything" — point to the one sentence where the two scenes split. That line is the actual disagreement.
3. **What each side's story can't see.** The need that only shows up when you describe the scene the way the other side's observer would.

## The four debrief questions

- Which shared need did both sides name almost in the same words — and why does that one matter?
- Where in the last month did you describe the problem as each other, instead of as a scene a neutral could watch?
- What is the one dated move (owner, by when) that serves the shared need rather than only your own side of it?
- What would tell you, in two weeks, that the temperature actually dropped — not that someone conceded?

## Failure modes of the debrief

| Failure mode | Why it happens | The rescue |
|---|---|---|
| A "third story" is the first story with the names filed off | Old habits return mid-read | Re-ask for the sentence as pure camera footage; if it can't survive the camera test, it isn't a third story. |
| One side won't tell its story | Confession feels like conceding | Have a neutral read the *other* side's third story aloud, correcting only factual errors. |
| The needs never overlap and get papered over | The shared column absorbs everything | Name the gap honestly; shift the move from "solve it" to "make the trade explicit" — who gives what, gets what. |