The Listening Ladder
Three rounds: the words, the feeling, the unsaid
Most listening stops at the first rung. Depth is a choice you make on purpose — and the last rung is the one nobody takes.
WorkshopSkill · The Listening Ladder — Slide Deck · CC BY 4.0What did you actually hear —
the words, the feeling, or the silence?
WorkshopSkill · The Listening Ladder — Slide Deck · CC BY 4.0The three rungs
- A — Literal: the listener restates the words only. Did the facts land?
- B — Feeling: add what sits under the words. Right, or over-reach?
- C — Unspoken: ask one question about what was left unsaid. Then hold the silence.
How it runs
| Round | The listener may… | The validator says |
|---|---|---|
| A | Paraphrase the facts | landed / not yet |
| B | Name the feeling | fits / not yet |
| C | Ask what was left unsaid | sat with it / rushed |
The third role: the validator
- The card has two faces only — landed and not yet. There is no "close enough".
- "Not yet" is the gift: it shows the pair exactly where the loop broke.
- Roles rotate so everyone is a speaker once across the three rounds.
Round C is not advice.
Ask one question, then let the silence hold.
The speaker fills the gap — that is the hearing.
WorkshopSkill · The Listening Ladder — Slide Deck · CC BY 4.0Three ways it fails, three rescues
- Round C turns into fixing → hold the rule: one question, then quiet.
- The validator is polite → only two faces on the card; "not yet" is welcome.
- A feeling gets stated as fact → always close round B with "have I got that right?"
The measure
- Before pairing: five short items about your own last week at work.
- After the debrief: the same five, now about the ladder you just climbed.
- Score the pair's move, never rank a person's ear — the exercise measures the loop.
Three questions in the debrief
1. Which rung did your pair climb easiest — and which did they skip?
2. Where did the validator say "not yet", and what changed before it became "landed"?
3. What is the one round-C question you will ask in a real conversation this week?
WorkshopSkill · The Listening Ladder — Slide Deck · CC BY 4.0What actually transfers
- The skipped rung is the one the room already skips at work — name the cost.
- One pair, one rung to practise, chosen from their smallest positive delta.
- Re-listening beats ploughing on — repair is a skill, not a setback.
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Run it seated · keep it fifteen minutes · report the pair, not the person
A listening session is working when someone finally asks the question they had been skipping.
WorkshopSkill · The Listening Ladder — Slide Deck · CC BY 4.0Take this folder with you
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